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Pieter-Dirk Uys

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SOCCER-FREE ZONE — a weekly sip from the World Cup 

– Pieter-Dirk Uys, The Mercury, 21 June 2010


Is telling a FIFA joke now also a criminal offence? Will we be dragged into the instant courts in our orange tutus for making cartoons of Sepp, the Profit? Already before the Frenzy, Cape theatre bosses were resigned. 'Who's going to come to the theatre during a Soccer World Cup tournament?'


For every husband and son who wants to see a match, there might be a mother and a daughter who don't — well, not every match. We need to laugh amid all this overkill. Everywhere the flags, merchandise, balls, vuvuzelas and poor little snot-nosed urchins tearfully smiling in wait for that reward the Father Christmas from Fifaland promised.


I'm sorry we don't have 'District Six' or a 'Kat and the Kings' on in Cape Town to show our visitors more than just the squatter camps and poverty that feature so prominently on international newscasts. Poor people are not victims or losers. They're poor, yes, with no money to buy food, or afford housing. But they enjoy close-knit families, have dignity, self respect, a sense of humour, talent and tolerance. That's no disadvantage. Our stages should be showing this passion with pride.


'What will YOU do in Darling?' they glumly asked. 'Isn't it far off the beaten track?' If 450,000 people can venture down the spine of Africa to the most southern patio of luxury, what's sixty-three minutes up the West Coast? Besides, a visit to Robben Island before a match is complemented by visit to Evita se Perron after the game. From the sublime to the ridiculous.


Already we are grateful to FIFA. They have sidelined and silenced one vuvuzela called Malema! So much more material for a good laugh. In our show 'Fee-Fa-Fo-Fum' one sketch focuses on Fuehrer Sepp, laughing till the tears run while promising to alleviate our poverty, disease, housing issues and employment. It can only end with the words: 'So kick high! Kick high! Kick high!', becoming a cartoon-echo of a Nuremburg Rally.


They say South Africa will never be the same again. We found that out after 27 April 1994. We're sixteen years old now. A teenage democracy with great dreams of a future filled with good things. With teenage pimples and smelly socks. Careless and arrogant. Helpless, and yet instinctive. And if we as a nation can reconcile with each other as we have done, anyone in the world can reconcile.


As Evita Bezuidenhout ends the show: 'So take note, welcome guests. South Africa is not following a blueprint for democracy. We are the blueprint.'

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