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SOCCER-FREE ZONE — a weekly sip from the World Cup
– Pieter-Dirk Uys, The Mercury, 14 June 2010
It’s a draw! Which means each get a half and still no one wins — yet. Here we are at the beginning of the rest of our lives, with a new politburo that has taken over our government. The FIFA Republic of Sepp the Benign, our new Interim President who smiles and laughs and waves his golden knob at the world as AmaBlatter, is not centred in Tswane but Zurich.
Mshowerlozi Jacob the Fertile can take time off running the country and procreate his football team for the next World Cup. The young men who will play to win. All his sons, with Julius Malema as the aged ballboy.
How extraordinary that we as a young successful democracy have handed over our country to a band of foreign buffoons who all need better haircuts. FIFA is tax-exempt, and can bring in and take out currency without control. They bend the laws. They squash the small businesses. They own the words ‘South Africa 2010’. They have done more than a take-over by a foreign power to discipline our society into their image.
Much of what is happening here now is thanks to a beautiful game by beautiful players. The excitement. The embrace. The optimism and the expectations. But one has to acknowledge that clever old FIFA recognised that ANC actually stands for ‘A Nice Cheque’ and so here we are. So thank you, Fuehrer Sepp, for now we have new roads, sexy bridges that go up and come down (except the two on Cape Town’s Foreshore that are there to confuse soccer hooligans and maybe they won't fall off!) and stadiums that dazzle the world as works of sport-art.
What a pity though that the soccer match-ups don't reflect the need for global political reconciliation. Imagine the following: South Korea against North Korea. That would solve a major international headache, even though the ball might be ticking. Mighty Germany against bankrupt Greece would pit those who bail out against those who take early retirement. The news that the Greek soccer team were robbed is also confusing. Which Greek still has cash?
USA should play Mexico who will constantly be off-side, reflecting the tense border issues between those two drug-enhanced democracies. Argentina and England should kick balls to solve the problem of a Falklands versus the Malvinas. Now that oil has been discovered there, the teams might come and watch Nigeria play Ghana who can kick it out over similar trophies of the beautiful black sludge.
Watching our B-B-boys play Mexico on Friday, one wondered why we didn’t keep our greatest soccer (sock-her?) asset in action. The Mandela Football Team would have won hands down in the dressing room. Nogal before the match!
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