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Don't cry for Evita — she may be president
– Karen Breytenbach, IOL News, 18 January 2007
Tannie Evita Bezuidenhout, the most famous white woman in the country, has made herself available as a candidate for the 2008 presidential election.
She made the announcement at the swanky Metropole Hotel in Cape Town on Wednesday, adorned in diamonds and holding a machine gun.
She said she wanted to hand the firearm to ANC deputy president Jacob Zuma in the hope he would finally go away.
She thanked him for inspiring her to oppose him.
The glamorous lady of Darling is hoping her apartheid past will not stand in the way of holding cabinet meetings around her kitchen table — like her role-model, Golda Meir, the Israeli prime minister who gave her generals bagels and coffee.
If she did become the first woman president, Evita's first move would be to stay at home — unlike her predecessor (Thabo Mbeki), "who came to South Africa occasionally on state visits".
A minister she would keep is Trevor Manuel — "He acts like a black and thinks like a white. And he is terribly good with money."
Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang would be posted to Mongolia, tasked with planting potatoes; no luxury 4x4s would be allowed in Tuynhuys's driveway; and there would be no BEE (Broederbond Economic Empowerment) millionaires in her cabinet.
