NEVER TOO NAKED
Never Too Naked’s Bambi strips away prejudices
– Daniéle-B Smith, MatieMedia, 19 March 2020
Never Too Naked’s character Bambi Kellerman, an 85-year-old former stripper, confronted South Africa’s current socio-political climate during the Toyota US Woordfees production, on 11 March.
The play also confronted the resurgence of right-winged politics, multi-phobias, neo-Nazism and intolerance.
Bambi is played by Pieter-Dirk Uys, South African satirist, author and performer, who over the last 40 years, has devoted his work to explore beyond the parameters of accepted comment.
“The idea of a retired stripper, snarled up in negative politics…was a good start in finding an original way pointing towards our present inequalities and prejudice. Our Constitution still doesn’t recognise and protect sex workers. Society abhors them,” Uys told MatieMedia.
Sex workers are victims of gender-based violence without recourse — Bambi is one of them, Uys said.
The title, Never Too Naked, emphasises the need for the new mind-set individuals should adopt, especially in SA’s current socio-political climate.
When naked — truths cannot be hidden, Uys said. “Naked is a good start to reinvention and rebirth,” he said.
Having been raised during Apartheid in the old Free State, Bambi discovers gay life in Europe — all against her upbringing — as she falls “into the deep end of the world at its most vibrant,” Uys said.
According to Uys, sharing Bambi’s story with the Stellenbosch community was particularly important due to the town’s “diverse collection of interested, relatively informed audiences”
“Stellenbosch is a fascinating cauldron of extremes” Uys added.
With reference to the Anti-GBV community having recently conducted a queerphobia protest on the Rooiplein, André Kapnoudis, a Stellenbosch University (SU) student and audience member, said the play was currently very relevant.
“Look at gender appropriation – the performance is so topical and relevant in consideration of what’s happening on campus,” said Kapnoudis.
Press: NEVER TOO NAKED at the Fugard
– Theatre Scene Cape Town, 8 March 2020
Pieter-Dirk Uys is Bambi Kellermann. The show is called NEVER TOO NAKED. The scene is the Fugard Studio Theatre.
Angola may have the richest woman on the continent, but South Africa has its most famous white woman — Evita Bezuidenhout. She also has a younger sister, Bambi Kellermann, who is the first person to encourage fake news about herself, knowing that the truth would be too unbelievable.
Uys has always been careful to balance his two most famous creatures: Mrs Bezuidenhout, part of the culture of her land since 1981 and true to her Afrikaner roots and ego, has no sense of humour and regards irony as an enemy; Madame Kellermann on the other hand wears her humour as an expensive aura and blandishes her irony as a successful weapon of mass distraction.
While waiting on the stage of the Fugard Studio for the arrival of her sister, Bambi shares the ups and downs of a life well-lived and loves well-shared; a boeremeisie, who started her long walk to freedom by leaving Bethlehem in the Orange Free State for Vienna in Austria. She was dazzled by the big world, hiding her fears behind her new underworld creation called Bambi. Yes, she was an uber-stripper on the Reperbahn in Hamburg during the 1960s. In other words: naked. Yes, she was hailed as one of the grand horizontals of the Northern Hemisphere during most of the last century — usually also naked except for her Chanel No 5 perfume. And yes, she will be in at the Fugard Studio this month and next, to share the naked truth of her story for the first time. As in most fairy tales, she marries a German aristocrat; as in most true horrors, he turns out to be a nightmare.
Evita Bezuidenhout’s lawyers have told Bambi’s lawyer that as reconciliation is the only solution for the future of South Africa, she and her sister must lead by example and publicly reconcile. They haven’t spoken to each other for over 30 years.
“What a relief,” giggles the former stripper. “The lawyers warn that the next time we will be together in the same room, one of us will be in a box. If Evita Bezuidenhout is in that box and I walk into the room, she will get up and leave!” Don’t wait till that happens. Come and be the witnesses at this impeachment of the most famous white woman in South Africa by her most infamous sister. Never too naked? Keep that in mind. You might find quite a surprise in store.
NEVER TOO NAKED is at the Fugard Studio Theatre for a three week season from 24 March to 11 April 2020 with tickets from R150 through www.thefugard.com or 0214614554. Age restriction: 12.
BWW Interview: Pieter-Dirk Uys on the Heart and Humour Behind Bambi in NEVER TOO NAKED
– Lindsay Kruger, Broadway World, 5 March 2020
Pieter-Dirk Uys returns as Bambi Kellermann in the satirical, scandalous and sparkling NEVER TOO NAKED. Baring it all on the Fugard stage later this month, Uys reveals Bambi’s beginnings, journey, and what to expect next from Tannie Evita’s younger sister.
BWW: Tell us about the character of Bambi Kellermann, the star of NEVER TOO NAKED. What inspired your characterisation?
Pieter-Dirk: Once Evita Bezuidenhout had a name and a surname, then a job and a husband, then three children and a mother, I thought: What about a sister? So in the 1985 film Skating On Thin Uys, Bambi was introduced in a 2 minute clip live from Paraguay and was obviously already not a fan of her older sister. In 1990 Godfrey Johnson and I started work on a Weimar-style cabaret, and there Bambi re-emerged out of my imagination to sing songs by Kurt Weill and arrangements of Afrikaans liedjies with a definite politically-incorrect slant. Her character was firmly anchored in the legend of Marlene Dietrich so that Bambi — being blonde and husky — followed in the steps of that great German diva.
BWW: What’s the best way for Bambi to tell her story? What stylistic elements or genres are being used in NEVER TOO NAKED?
Pieter-Dirk: Bambi must talk without fear; meaning she has a sense of humour that Evita does not have. She also understands irony, something Evita fights. Since 1990 the various shows starring Bambi concentrated mainly on songs and the ambiance of cabaret. In this new show for the first time Bambi strips naked: she tells her story without the flash and bling of camp and comedy. She is very funny and yet her adventures are stained with danger and stress. Bambi is also a voice that addresses the issues of today, especially the rights of sex workers, the dignity of transgenderists, and the reminder not to forget the worst of the past, so that it doesn’t repeat itself in the future.
BWW: As you’ve mentioned, Bambi is sister to one of your much-loved characters, Evita Bezuidenhout. Of your many characters, are any born out of real-life experiences, or are they pure figments of the imagination?
Pieter-Dirk: All the characters I have auditioned for my satirical cluster since 1978 are anchored in reality. Some of them are recognised as real politicians on the stamps and the coins; others are characters that reflect the madness and mediocrity of politics. And some — Evita, Bambi and Ouma — are part of a family that, since their creation in 1981, have become legendary and iconic. My imagination plays a huge role in adding detail, flair and eccentricity to the characters to prove that just because they don’t exist, doesn’t mean they’re not real.
BWW: Where do you start with a story when you’re writing one as elaborate as Bambi’s?
Pieter-Dirk: Stories seldom start as one idea: they often merge many strands together as a dramatic narrative. Having written Bambi’s biography (also titled Never Too Naked and on sale at the Fugard run), I have a vast spectrum of adventures and experiences to borrow from.
BWW: NEVER TOO NAKED closely follows Bambi’s international gallivanting as a “super-stripper”; can you say if there are some non-fiction tales woven into her story?
Pieter-Dirk: In Bambi’s life there were real people too: John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Dietrich, Maria Callas, Christiaan Barnard, Ava Gardner, Charlize Theron. Many people read Bambi’s biography hand-in-glove with Google and were amazed to see how historically correct the details were. The only fictional addition was Bambi Kellermann herself. Again it is important to respect fact when knitting a fictional world: the colours and textures must be familiar to the audience; like Alice In Wonderland being pure fantasy-fiction which reflect hardcore facts, or George Orwell’s Animal Farm using fictional pigs to reflect the factual ones.
BWW: What’s the journey audiences are expected to take with NEVER TOO NAKED? Is it purely for the fun, or is there more to Bambi than meets the eye?
Pieter-Dirk: Bambi is over 80 now and is clever enough to know that less is more. She will not strip off her clothes, but also knows that one can never be too naked. So she peels the onion of her life — the shock of being in Europe after a childhood in the Orange Free State, discovering sex and the sale of sexuality, marrying a German aristocrat with darkness in his past, becoming a grand horizontal of the Northern hemisphere, and now celebrating the most important f-word in her life: fun. Much for an audience to share with laughter, with shock and awe, and, above all, with care. Because while it might all just be theatre — doesn’t mean it’s not real.
NEVER TOO NAKED will be performed in The Fugard Studio Theatre from 24 March on Tuesday to Saturdays at 8pm with a matinee on Saturday 4pm. Tickets from R150 to R170 can be booked through The Fugard Theatre box office on 021 461 4554 or through The Fugard Theatre’s website at www.thefugard.com. Please note NEVER TOO NAKED has an age restriction of 12 years.
Bambi Kellermann Q and A: Never Too Naked
– Weekend Special, 2 March 2020
Bambi Kellermann, sister to the (more famous) Evita Bezuidenhout, has a show at the Fugard from 24 March 2020 titled Never too Naked. In a frank Q and A session, she talks about her life, love, loss and longing. With laughter, of course.
Q: Let’s start with the question you said was embargoed: when last did you see your sister?
Bambi Kellermann: Since I returned to South Africa in 1995, I have seen her once. That was in 2015 when we thought our mother was on her deathbed. We only then realised that it was her way of getting her two daughters together. I immediately left without saying anything to anyone. So that was four years ago. We haven’t spoken since the mid-1980s. That all sounds terribly depressing.
Q: When reconciliation is the catchword in our democracy, can’t you two sisters lead by example?
Bambi Kellermann: You are so right. Reconciliation starts at home. I hope in the year ahead to speak to her. As someone said to me: do it soon, because one day you will be in the same room together, but one of you will be in a box. Believe me, if my sister was in the box and I walked into the room, she would get up and walk out!
Q: Is there anything you both agree on?
Bambi Kellermann: Yes, that our mother Ouma Ossewania Kakebenia Poggenpoel is a vampire and will never die! Ouma Ossewania is … dare I speculate: 116 years old? They say Prime Minister Hendrik Verwoerd kissed her hand at the Republic Celebrations of 1961 and he nibbled her. Maybe he was a vampire too?
Q: For those of us who have heard about you but don’t know you, who is Bambi Kellermann?
Bambi Kellermann: I was born in Bethlehem in the Orange Free State in 1938 as Baby Poggenpoel. My sister Evangelie Poggenpeol is the person you all now know as Evita Bezuidenhout. I left South Africa as a teenager and went to Vienna in Austria. I started stripping in a nightclub. I married an older man and became a Countess. He turned out to be a Nazi. I ran away to Hamburg and became a star on the Reperbahn. My life became a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Let’s just say if you find me on Wikipedia you will read that Bambi Kellermann was one of the grand horizontals of the Northern Hemisphere.
Q: Your new show? Never Too Naked? Really? An 80 year old woman without clothes on stage?
Bambi Kellermann: Oh my goodness no! I would never be naked on stage in South Africa at the pathetic prices they charge for tickets. Ridiculous! No, I tell what I call my bedtime stories about life, love, loss and longing. With laughter, the best medicine.
Q: You talk about sex like some of us talk about rugby.
Bambi Kellermann: Isn’t it about time someone did? Sex unites us all. It’s the picnic in the minefield of life. I chose it, because I refuse to be manipulated by men. So the language of sex was an international way to stay safe and secure. Men are funny old things: they just want to be loved and then they leave a fortune on the table. Anyway, I think I owe it to the youth to warn them about the dangers of being sexually naïve and far too trustworthy in relationships.
Q: Would you agree that to some people you are politically-incorrect?
BK: I sincerely hope so. Political correctness doesn’t really make sense to me. When was politics ever correct? I want to rattle everyone’s political cage so that people rethink their prejudice. And let’s face it, sex can also be very funny. Rather laugh at my stories, than giggle at a nervous naked husband. Now that’s no way to start a family.
Q: How would you talk to your children about sex?
BK: I don’t have children, so I try and have conversations with young people without sounding like an old lady wagging a finger from her moral high ground. I firmly believe parents need to be the only people to talk sex to their children. Sadly too few do. There is also too much reliance on the internet and googling sex can only lead to trouble. There is no condom available on social media; just the magic words: delete and switch off.
Q: You say holidays are the most dangerous times for young people. What do you mean?
BK: Young people look like schoolkids when they wear that horrible school uniform. But wait till they dress up for weekend parties. They look like movie stars. Holidays are an orgy of parties — on the beach, at a resort, in hotels. We always insist that our children don’t drink, or do drugs. Nonsense, of course they do! It’s sexy. It’s cool. It’s awesome. And it kills. So talk to your children and grandchildren and remember a song that Stephen Sondheim wrote: ‘Be careful what you say; children will listen. Be careful what you do; children will see and learn.’
Q: Waar is jou Afrikaans? Is die Boeremeisie van Bethlehem dood?
BK: Verskoon my! Ja, ek dink nie genoeg in Afrikaans nie. Ek moes vir so lank Duits praat en in Duits dink. Nou praat ek meesal Engels, maar daar is niks lekkerder as Afrikaans nie. Ek vloek miskien meer in Afrikaans as in Duits of Engels. Ons los dit maar daar …
Q: Share with us some of the highlights in your life (and remember there are also children in the room!)
BK: I regard every day spent on this planet that ends with my life intact and a smile on my face as being a highlight. I suppose the biggest thrill was meeting US President John F. Kennedy. And also once Marilyn Monroe, but not together! I was also the part-time char in Paris for Marlene Dietrich and had to serve tea and cake to Maria Callas when she visited. A highlight in the future will be the knowledge that South Africa’s sex workers will also be protected by our Constitution. They need a union; they need health treatment without prejudice; they need protection within the law. And they need to be allowed to strike and also be expected to pay tax. Sadly the one might not lead to the other.
Q: So are you an optimist? In spite of a life well-lived?
BK: The mere fact that I am still here at my age, after my lifestyle, in spite of the ups and downs makes me optimistic that life is there to be enjoyed and shared with those who care. Don’t waste your time on rubbish. Life’s too short.
Q: I am sure Mrs Bezuidenhout will read this page. Do you have a message for her?
BK: Liewe sussie, if you promise not to set the Darling police on me, I would like to have a rooibos tea with you at Evita se Perron one morning. Your koeksisters will be optional.
What: Bambi Kellermann: Never Too Naked
Where and when: Fugard Theatre from 24 March to 11 April 2020
Tickets: www.thefugard.com or 021 461 4554
Additional: Never Too Naked will also be at Woordfees on 11 March 2020 at 8.30pm with booking through Computicket
Pieter-Dirk Uys is Bambi Kellermann in Never Too Naked
Pieter-Dirk Uys is Bambi Kellermann. The show is called ‘Never Too Naked’. The scene is Pieter Toerien’s Montecasino Studio Theatre from 6 to 24 May 2020.
Angola may have richest woman on the continent, but South Africa has its most famous white woman — Evita Bezuidenhout. She also has a younger sister, Bambi Kellermann, who is the first person to encourage fake news about herself, knowing that the truth would be too unbelievable.
Uys has always been careful to balance his two most famous creatures: Mrs Bezuidenhout, part of the culture of her land since 1981 and true to her Afrikaner roots and ego, has no sense of humour and regards irony as an enemy; Madame Kellermann on the other hand wears her humour as an expensive aura and blandishes her irony as a successful weapon of mass distraction.
While waiting on the stage of Pieter Toerien’s Monte Studio for the arrival of her sister, Bambi shares the ups and downs of a life well-lived and loves well-shared; a boeremeisie, who started her long walk to freedom by leaving Bethlehem in the Orange Free State for Vienna in Austria. She was dazzled by the big world, hiding her fears behind her new underworld creation called Bambi. Yes, she was an uber-stripper on the Reperbahn in Hamburg during the 1960s. In other words: naked. Yes, she was hailed as one of the grand horizontals of the Northern Hemisphere during most of the last century — usually also naked except for her Chanel No 5 perfume. And yes, she will be in at the Fugard Studio from 24 March to 11 April to share the naked truth of her story for the first time. As in most fairy tales, she marries a German aristocrat; as in most true horrors, he turns out to be a nightmare.
Evita Bezuidenhout’s lawyers have told Bambi’s lawyer that as reconciliation is the only solution for the future of South Africa, she and her sister must lead by example and publicly reconcile. They haven’t spoken to each other for over 30 years.
“What a relief,” giggles the former stripper. “The lawyers warn that the next time we will be together in the same room, one of us will be in a box. If Evita Bezuidenhout is in that box and I walk into the room, she will get up and leave!”
Don’t wait till that happens. Come and be the witnesses at this impeachment of the most famous white woman in South Africa by her most infamous sister. Never too naked? Keep that in mind. You might find quite a surprise in store.
Never Too Naked
24 March 2020 to 11 April 2020
– What’s on in Cape Town
Pieter-Dirk Uys returns as Bambi Kellermann in the production of Never Too Naked, a one-man comedy show.
Bambi Kellermann is Evita Bezuidenhout’s younger sister — and that’s where the family ties end. Whereas Tannie Evita is still the most famous white woman in South Africa, Bambi became a grand horizontal of the northern hemisphere and a super-stripper.
Never Too Naked is the name of her game and she shares some of her bedtime stories. The little boeremeisie from Bethlehem in the Orange Free State found herself in Vienna in the late 1950s and soon the sweet conservative religious virgin made way for the sophisticated, funny and powerful woman who could fight the world with irony, humour and experience. Her conversation is not for the weak-hearted — and as she says: “Bring your own condoms of prejudice and fear. You have been warned. Now lie back and enjoy it.”
“With the exceptional writing of Pieter-Dirk Uys, expect an intense and gripping Bambi cabaret.” – Robyn Cohen
Alexander Upstairs Welcomes NEVER TOO NAKED WITH BAMBI KELLERMANN
– Broadway World, 29 March 2019
Bambi Kellermann is Evita Bezuidenhout’s sister — and that’s where the family ties end. Whereas Tannie Evita is still the most famous white woman in South Africa, Bambi became a grand horizontal of the northern hemisphere and a super-stripper. NEVER TOO NAKED is the name of her game and she will be at the Alexander Bar on Thursday 11 and Friday 12 April at 9pm with some of her legendary bedtime stories. The little boeremieisie from Bethleham in the Orange Free State found herself in Vienna in the late 1950s and soon the sweet conservative religious virgin made way for the sophisticated, funny and powerful woman who could fight the world with irony, humour and balls.
Her conversation is not for the weak-hearted — and as she says: “Bring your own condoms of prejudice and fear. You have been warned. Now lie back and enjoy it.”
“No oversight committees required for Bambi. She spews it all out on stage, ranting and prodding us out of our communal inertia and amnesia. Will Bambi reflect on the surge of anti-semitism in Europe in 2019 and muse about her time in swinging post war Germany in the 1950s, when Nazis were clubbing and hiding in plain sight? Bambi is a chilling individual who faces her demons. With the exceptional writing of Pieter-Dirk Uys, expect an intense and gripping Bambi 2019 cabaret.” – Robyn Cohen