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Evita's back as the gogo of the nation

ANNALEIGH VALLIE chats to theatre icon Evita Bezuidenhout, who's about to star in a new play at the Market Theatre, Pieter-Dirk: Eish!

– Annaleigh Vallie,  Business Day,  10 February 2007

SOUTH Africans are ready to take back their country. They are, according to Evita Bezuidenhout, ready to inform the leadership about what they want. We have to take control of our leadership; that is what a democracy is about it's about us," she says.

The presidential race reached boiling point this month after Bezuidenhout announced her plans to become SA's new head honcho. It is rumoured that Hillary Clinton decided to take the plunge and join the US presidential race after she heard the news of Tannie Evita's campaign.

There will be no more empty promises as Bezuidenhout, self-proclaimed the most famous white woman in the country, sets out her gripping election manifesto. With election slogans like the people must lead and the government can follow, Bezuidenhout believes she can be president.

There are many reasons why Evita could and must run for president. There are, according to her, certain attributes a president must have. These include: a sense of democracy, pragmatism (she is an Afrikaner) and a good moral standing (she is a Calvinist). A good president must be able to make unpopular decisions (she is a mother). Above all, she believes she has captured the pulse and rhythm of the people of SA. Bezuidenhout has an opinion on almost everything.

On Tony Yengeni and the ox issue: “We have to respect everyone's rituals and traditions but the key word there is cruelty. We cannot be cruel to animals or children. Look at the Jews, they don't do the eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth thing any more. Now they charge you to fix your eyes and teeth."

On some of the other possible election candidates:  “Nkosazana Dlamini-Zulu is beginning to look like a small African country. Her sense of fashion is a crime.”  But Tannie Evita will also be wearing her kaftans. She actually received a few kaftans from a designer in SA; they were made for Winnie Mandela, but she didn't pay for them, so Evita took them.

On languages: Bezuidenhout promises to make languages tax deductible. So if you speak four of the official languages you should get a tax refund. Same for people whose children make it to Grade 12. “If the children pass, the parents will be refunded all the money used to educate them. The money can then be used to pay for university fees. What better motivation is that? If one of our politicians had to recommend that, people would ask what they had been smoking."

On crime: “In the '80s I said that crime was out of control and if the road to the airport wasn't quite so dangerous I would emigrate. The same goes for today.” She also believed until recently that Jackie Selebi was a girl.

On Brett Kebble: “What is assisted suicide? Is that the same thing that happened to Steve Biko?"

She says: “I am the gogo of the nation." The fact that she has black grandchildren now, she feels, stands her in good stead to be the grandmother of the nation.

Evita will talk about all these things and more in a new show called Pieter-Dirk: Eish!, with emphasis on the eish, says Pieter-Dirk Uys. “I'm just trying to bring smiles back. When you laugh at something you are fearful of, it becomes less fearful.

“You will be introduced to 12 new characters on the show and they will look at serious issues such as poverty, crime and affirmative action in a humorous way. There will be a few old characters including Adriaan Vlok, Pik Botha, who is now a member of the ANC and is not supporting Evita's campaign because she doesn't belong to the ANC. And then there is Kader Asmal, but I try not to linger on all the old people.

“Evita has managed to capture the hearts of all South Africans. It's because she represents all of us. People come up to me and say Evita is my mother or sister; she is exactly like my wife, etc. She also provides an opportunity for people to approach serious issues in a nondefensive way.

"You can't just laugh away the problems of the world, though. We aren't just being flippant; we have to find a balance. We can't handle all our problems through anger but just another reaction to what's happening."

Uys is still doing his work in schools. “I was given an honorary vagina in Durban”, he says proudly. “I went to four different schools and we spoke about condoms, femidoms and Zumadoms (a shower cap). I tell them that every society has its heartbeat and that is women. Women need to look after themselves and shout out for help. Parents are becoming less and less uncomfortable with my AIDS awareness show for schoolchildren. At one school the principal called me aside and told me Grade 7 boys weren't allowed to watch my show. He made them watch the Sound Of Music instead," he giggles.

Uys's involvement with the Market Theatre goes back to before the theatre was born. His controversial Afrikaans play, Selle Ou Storie, was staged at the Blue Fox in Rosebank by The Company before establishing its unique foothold in Newtown. From 1976 to 1990, the Market became Uys's home base, where he premiered his new plays: Paradise is Closing Down, Karnaval, God's Forgotten, Just Like Home, Scorched Earth, Die Van Aardes van Grootoor, Appassionata and Hell is for Whites Only.

Evita made her first appearance in 1981 in Adapt or Dye and later in Farce about Uys. Both toured SA to become the most successful shows of that time.

“The new show is 105 minutes long. Some people go to the gym. I go to the theatre. It's my therapy. New characters include Ms Nowell Fine and a spectrum of politicians who sadly don't have the same rotten appeal as the old Broeders.” But don't write the comrades off: BEE, the succession battle, the tripartite alliance, the Which Zuma Project, garlic and potatoes, corruption and the 2010 World Cup being moved to Perth, will all resonate in this show, says Uys.

Pieter-Dirk: Eish! is at The Market, Newtown, from February 13 to March 17, Tuesday to Saturday. Tickets are available at Computicket. Block and school bookings can be made by calling the Market on (011) 832-1641.

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